1. Does life feel harder than it should?
It did for me but I also didn’t know it could be another way. When you notice this it’s usually a sign that we are fighting against gravity and that something in our life is out of sync. Perhaps, everything! This wouldn’t have made any sense to me at the beginning of this journey but I definitely had a sense that life felt a lot harder than it should. I had the most basic understanding of wellness and I had to draw on what I knew, which was the belief and understanding that I just needed to work harder and everything would get better.
Yup, work harder and it will look and feel different. ‘’It will be worth it’’ someone said. ‘’It will build character’’ said someone else. So I worked hard and it was absolutely exhausting. If I had to draw a comparable, it would be like pushing a bus up a never ending incline. You fight tirelessly for every inch and you are endlessly in fear that if you stop, even for a second, it is all going to come crashing down on you. If anything, all of the hard work only made the physiological pain worse!
Sure, where I was standing might have changed as a result of my hard work but my view of the world remained the same. I was convinced that everything was just hard. This was the lesson I learned through my efforts and it’s what the evidence supported. Do you know anyone who might be experiencing something similar?
Work was hard. Relationships were hard. Making a good decision was hard. Life was just hard.
Now, I whole heartedly believe that hard work is essential to create what we want. Let’s be very clear on that. This is very different then what I shared above and I’m going to take you on a journey out to sea to help you better understand the difference. Trust me – it’s important!
Alright friend, picture yourself on a wonderful little boat like this one. On this wonderful little boat you have the best paddles that money can buy. You are also very determined to get where you want to go. With certainty, you push your paddle into the water and you take off at max speed. You are moving and there is no question in your mind on whether you are going to get ‘’there’’. You are certainly committed to working as hard as required to make it happen. It will happen! You know this to be certain.
You are paddling away and working hard. You might even work the hardest. it’s wonderful to be so focused. Wait. Is it?
You wonder if it’s possible that something could be missing. You are curious about this as your stare out over the wide open sea and ask yourself what could be missing?
The wind shifts and the answer comes to you – it’s having an awareness and understanding of the importance of doing the right things and doing them in the right order.
Yes it’s important to work hard but it doesn’t serve us if we are not doing the right things. In paddling your boat, your level of effort will inform the pace of your journey but which direction your boat is pointed will likely have a greater impact. Are you pointing towards land or out to sea? Both directions will eventually lead you to land but crossing the sea is going to extract a much greater personal cost and require a substantial more effort.
I didn’t know that life could be easier. To be honest, it never occurred to me that it shouldn’t be so hard. This was not a topic that was ever discussed growing up and it most certainly wasn’t discussed in my social circles. We heard all the sayings growing up about working hard (insert your sayings here) and I just accepted them all as my truth. I didn’t question it. I didn’t know that I should question things either. Why would you if everyone else is doing the same thing.
It turns out, life was really hard and it felt like I was paddling across the worlds largest sea (with all of the baggage) because I was out of sync with what I wanted. I was out of sync with life. I was out of sun with who I was. I didn’t know myself and I wasn’t informed enough to have any clue that this was my reality. I was busy chasing a dream, one I learned much later on was someone else’s.
My first big lesson learned. I was moving towards what I whole heartedly believed I should want and not what I actually wanted. Yup, you guessed it – it wasn’t a very fun journey. I have a video below that explains more
Were you starting to think that you might make it all of the way to Step 2 without doing a little work? Not a chance that I was going let that happen. Don’t sweat it though, we are going to start out with some easy lifting. This is an important step that we take together before we move on to the following steps.
Please sit, and think about your life and the path that you are currently on. How are you showing up for yourself and others?
Is your path one that you have personally crafted or is it one that you have blindly followed?
Is it one that was created for you by your parents, informed by who you have surrounded yourself with or shaped by what you believe would be acceptable to to others?
Are you genuinely excited about life or are you just going through the motions of it? Here is an easy way to tell – if your life suddenly ended would you be at peace with how you lived it? Would you be at peace with how you showed up each day and with the impact that you made? Would you be at peace with the quality of relationships that you had?
What place do you currently hold for you in your life? I get that you are likely crushing it with helping out everyone else but I want to be clear on what you are presently doing for you.
What are you passionate about? How and when does this presently show up in your life?
I ask these questions as I know from experience that we don’t ask ourselves. That’s a problem. It’s a problem because we can’t be aware if we don’t know. Answering these questions will help you become aware. You will become aware of where you are in your life – what it feels and looks like to you.
I know when I answered those questions I was immediately aware that I was ready for something different but I didn’t know what that could be or where to start. If that’s you, I’ve got you covered in ‘Step 2. If not this than what?’ – click on over to the next section below.