3. Forwards or Backwards?

Having explored your dreams a little, you should now have a clearer view of what you want. Woo-hoo to you. This is exciting. But YES, it can also feel overwhelming, unrealistic or unreachable based on where you currently are and your current beliefs. This is OK, it’s pretty normal to feel this way and once upon a time I would have argued that it was impossible too.

But guess what, it’s possible. I did it and you can do this too when you approach it in the right way.

So what’s the right way? I’m so glad that you asked

The first step is to observe and examine what you are presently doing.

Here are some questions that can help. You can download the worksheet or work through them below as you go. Either way, I encourage you to be thoughtful and take your time answering the questions as it will max out the benefits of the exercise.

Being more informed about the ingredients in your life will increase your awareness, help you make choices more aligned with where you want to be and identify the actions that will get you moving towards it.

What does your day look like?

How do you spend your time?

Who do you spend it with?

Where is your inspiration coming from?

What language are you choosing to use? (when I refer to language I am speaking about your choice of words and the intention of them)

What contexts are you creating and what is the lens being used to view the world around you (is it positive, negative, abundant, finite, etc,)?

Are your thoughts anchored in the past or the future?

Your existing habits, relationships, actions, excuses and so on are perfectly aligned to support the path that you are on. It makes sense, especially, if we weren’t clear on what we want. Logically, if any of the above were different, we would show up differently personally and be in a different. So to get from where we presently are to where we want to be there is something magical we need to do – – we need to do something different.

We need to do something different to bring what we want into our lives as repeating what we have been doing is only going to create more of what we already have.

Want to get fit, you need to work out (not just go to a gym). Want to learn a language, you need to study and practice. Want a promotion, then you have some work to do. You don’t need more examples, we all have buckets of them where we wanted something different but didn’t choose to take the action required to make it happen. So what followed, more of the same.

Unfortunately, what does change when we choose not too is our belief that change is possible. The longer we stay stuck the more impossible the feelings around change grow. Given the chance, they grow and grow and grow. As our doubt multiplies in size it causes us to continually shrink in its shadow which results in us living a smaller and smaller life.

Fortunately for us, the second we decide to do something different we immediately discover that so much more is possible.

This is a wonderful opportunity to look at what actions, behaviours, characteristics, habits, skills, connections, etc. support the creation of what you want. I want you to become super clear on what’s going to move you closer to having what you want!!! Don’t know, find someone that’s already doing it and follow their lead. What are they doing that you can replicate? What’s driving their results?

Now look at what you are presently doing and whether it serves this purpose or creates an obstacle that gets in the way of you achieving it. It should be pretty clear if something helps you. If it’s not helping, challenge yourself on whether it really has a place in your life.

For me, my relationship with alcohol is a wonderful example of something that didn’t serve me as it ruined a bazillion nights of sleep, led to very poor food choices, tiredness and moodiness the following day and it was the crusher of all my fitness dreams as I would never want to get out of bed the next morning. It didn’t help me with anything that I wanted to achieve and it single handedly disrupted almost everything that I wanted. To experience the change that I wanted in my life, my relationship with it had to change. I have a video on this here.

I want you to get super clear on what serves you. Continue doing it! What serves you is going to propel you forward. Equally important, you must replace what doesn’t serve you with something that does. If it sounds simple, that’s because it is. Life is a lot easier when we don’t get in our own way.

I know from experience, that it’s not exactly helpful to only have an idea of where you want to be it’s actually helpful to have a path to follow.  We will tackle that next, but first, it’s important that we get an understanding of what we need to get ready for this journey. 

We need to do a little exploring within ourselves and gain clarity on what is going to help us move forward. Here is a work sheet to help with this! It also explores what’s not working and what we want to do about it.